Tuesday, 25 April 2017

Whose Reward Are You Really Seeking?

Some call it charity..Some call it philanthropy and Some simply call it helping the poor/less privileged.
Now what gives me concern about this act recently is the fact that this act has become something that the giver feels justified in doing,only after he has publicised his generosity or the extent of his largesse!

With the desire to assist in the welfare of the less privileged or donate generously to the needy, why is it so important to call a photographer,take pictures,get on social media platforms and post each picture showing how you presented cartons of drinks,food or beverages so the whole world can see you as the ever-generous giver or the certified philanthropist!*smh*

What really changed from the days when the giver is open handed and the whole world doesnt have to know about his every act of benevolence?

Am I wrong in thinking charity is supposed to be an act of selflessness where the giver gives out of compassion without seeking praise ,validation or a reward from the public?

As a philanthropist,must you publicly show your every act of humanitarianism to the the less privileged?

Does that justify the means to promote your brand as a non-governmental organisation?

If it does,how come there are other philanthropists out there who are wealthier and even more generous,but do not show off or publicise their acts of compassion to others who seek their help?
Whose reward or acknowlegdement are you really seeking..God or humans??

Honestly...at some point, as a generous giver,i think it would be necessary to ask yourself this questions.

Work for a cause,not applause! Live your life to truly express and not to impress!
Don't strive so hard to get recognition for your generosity..just allow your good works speak for itself!

Till my next post,live..laugh...love...and of cos stay blessed!

Tuesday, 11 April 2017

Speaking Up..!

It seems a pretty difficult task for some of us to voice out our opinions on our beliefs, values or even opinons!
I think it appears more difficult when we are dealing with family,friends or people we care about because of the fear of being hurtful to them.

At some point we even compromise our values or tailor our opinions just to avoid confrontations or endless hours of unproductive arguments!

Truth be told...i am not a passive person by nature but i realised that in the bid to avoid lengthy conflicts,i just conveniently shy away sometimes from imposing my opinion or belief on the issue in contention!*sighs*
Funny enough,i got so angry with myself sometimes for not having the willpower to aggressively stand up for my opinion and making the other person accept my views,regardless of the consequences!*smh*
I came to realise that sometimes(if not,most times),you have to possess that inner strength that allows you to be truthful not just to yourself,but to others and damn the consequences that may arise from speaking up!
In the course of speaking up,it is likely you might push others away or even seem like you come on too strong because of your strong-minded nature or honesty but trust me...friends who resent you for your honesty/truthfulness are definitely not worth your friendship!

Honestly,it's not always easy for some people to accept the truth (LOL!I'm guilty of that sometimes),so before speaking up,you have to find a balance and know your limits so as to maintain a positive discussion/relationship with the person.
Even though telling the truth may be difficult for many people,it's the approach that we take,that allows us earn the respect of others!

It's important to put the person in reasonable consideration and remember that it's not what you say but how you say it that truly matters!
You must remember to choose your words carefully,use the appropriate language and apply the right tone in your voice as you speak constructively and of cos,tactfully criticise the matter at hand!

Be real!Just say it as you truly feel,with the right words,in the right manner and you will earn respect for speaking up!
Speaking up for what we believe in,sharing our views positively...can be helpful and beneficial when it's done kindly,constructively and appropriately!

Till my next post...live,laugh,love and of cos ...stay blessed!

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

Do You Have A Clue..??

I have observed for a long while now that a lotta people see the forms of social media as a way to expose their negativity,rather than a medium for productivity!
I will focus on Instagram because i noticed facebook users have a somewhat better connection to whoever they follow..family,friends,colleagues etc.Most times,people connected on facebook have either met at some point in life (through school,work,church or even events),so it's only if you accept such a friendship that a person connects with you on facebook!

Now back to instagram..*smiles*
How do you insult or lash out at someone you don't know,have never met..or would never even meet?
How do your words of bad judgement help the person in a better way or any way?
Do you even have a clue about what the person is going through,battling with silently?
Does being a follower give you the right to spill out words of hate because the person followed has commited an offence or is a celebrity??
Actually,some would say the lashing on celebrities is debatable because they are public figures and as such,criticisms are expected. But then,one seems to forget that under that cloak of celebrity,there lies a human being facing severe challenges in life and might even be helpless but can't cry out because the world is watching!
Do you have a clue?? *sighs*

It's ok to dislike someone..or even dislike that person for no particular reason,but it's definitely not ok to disrespect,degrade or even humiliate that person just because you have access to do so,especially through social media!
Infact,in my opinion..spilling out words of hate say a lot about u because when you love yourself,you aren't capable of hating someone..regardless of what they have done!

Moving on...i think it's time we realise that there's already so much hate going on the world right now that an extra pound or more bags of hate towards someone,won't make it any better but instead worsen the situation!

Dealing with the increase in suicide recently,it's clear that a lotta people we see are fighting battles we cannot even imagine!
Do you really have a clue?? Just because you see a person smiling everyday,laughing at every given opportunity..doesn't completely justify that all is well!
Be kind with words (if you must speak)..lend a listening ear(if you can spare the time)..say it's ok to go through certain challenges or feel down but it's more important to remember that there's a reason for everything that happens and through every tunnel,there comes light at the end...after every rain/storm comes sunshine!

The little words of encouragement,(rather than shouts laced with insults and criticisms), could just be the last thing the person needed to hear before jumping off a bridge or taking a pill overdose.

Do not be part of the reason someone ends his life...instead be the reason why that person knows that life is still worth living despite all the mishaps and disappointments!
Be careful when lashing out those hurtful words because a few bad words might not seem a big deal to you,but may stick with that person for a lifetime!

Till my next post..live,laugh,love..and of cos stay blessed!

Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Someone's Watching..!

On an early humid morning,I stroll out of my house going for my usual morning walks,a lady in her late 50's greets me with a smile. In my usual apprehension towards strangers,I respond with a cool,questioning smile!
I slowly close my gate,giving her the opportunity to keep walking but i noticed she slowed down her pace.
I sense this and am wondering "Hmmm...am in no mood for a chat this morning especially with today's weather that isn't exactly generous with some breeze to enable me kill some kilometres!"*sighs*
Anyways,i proceed with her still walking in front of me and after a few minutes,she turns back to walk towards me!
"Hello!I know we haven't met but i normally see you take your morning walks on some mornings."
Am like "Ooh..ok"..with a smile.

She goes on to tell me how she has never really been interested in body fitness or workouts,but when she kept seeing me it occured to her that she could easily take morning walks without breaking a leg! Infact,it was an opportunity for her to get out of her house that she would normally stay in all day and just remain comfortable lying on the couch watching television,worrying over things she couldn't change!
Now that lifted my spirits and automatically,my heart opened up to her!
We proceeded on the walk together,sharing productive information about life,health,businesses,etc!I got to discover she even had a garden at the back of her house,where she plants crops,natural herbs,etc!!
Anyways before i bore you *LOL*,let me just say...Thanks to her approaching me that morning and thanks to my spirit that allowed me grant a warm reception towards her!

Firstly,i was taken aback when she told me how she usually admired me walking past those mornings because i wouldnt have had the slightest idea anyone would have been awake and looking out their window at that time of the morning!
U just never know..Someone's watching!*smiles*

Just keep being you!Keep doing things you effortlessly do in your own unique way and you will be amazed at who you can inspire and how you can inspire.
You would be surprised at how you inspire someone or even people,regardless of their ages/professions!
It could be in your neighbourhood(how you coordinate/treat the cleaners,security personnel or handle estate meetings),your office(how you arrive early at work/respect the junior staff) or even your place of worship(how you come early to church and assist in tidying up before the service,helping the elderly ones compassionately or even how you devotedly donate your offerings despite the fact that everyone there knows you don't have a job at the moment)!

You just never know who sees you as an inspiration...cos trust me.. Someone's watching!*wink*

Till my next post, live,laugh,love and of cos stay blessed!

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Don't Be A Hypocrite...

About 3months ago,my friends and I were sitting in a shop, waiting on the shop attendant.

My friend starts telling us about how he did a job for some guy a few months back and the guy hasn't paid him for his service up till now,claiming he didn't have money to pay him yet!
What got my friend mad at the guy ,was the fact that the guy had the nerve to travel out and he kept posting pictures on Instagram, shopping in expensive stores,showing off the shopping bags and tagging "Life is good!" Imagine that!!*smh*
Before i could even get outta my shock and stop myself from a very loud laugh,my other friend got up shouting "Waaaat!What kinda nonsense is that?How can people be so heartless?How can you owe someone money and you have the heart to do that?How can he be so shameless?bla bla bla!!

I must say..i was pissed myself but i calmed him down,telling him to keep reminding the guy with calls, messages ,visits..and hopefully the guy will pay soon!

Now fast forward to about 3weeks ago..
I offered a service to my friend (the one that kept shouting about how people can be heartless,shameless etc..). Normally,i get paid before i render the service or immediately i complete the service.
After rendering the service,she tells me she can't pay me now because she doesn't have money. Waaaaaat!!
Hold up!Now my countenance is between shock and anger..infact it was a sight to behold!LOL!
I'm thinking "So didn't you know you didn't have money to pay me before or even during my service? Wasn't it you that burst out in anger a few weeks back to a similar scenario like this??
Aren't you the heartless and shameless one now???
I just walked out on her with great disappointment!
Little did she know she just played out a classic case of hypocrisy...infact with a lie!!
She obviously decided to take advantage of my trust,tolerance and understanding as a friend!!
Infact,she didn't realise that i posess a sharp memory..unlike her!*smh*

The truth is..you would never see yourself as a hypocrite or even consciously admit that you are one,until the facts are pushed at you before you realise that you have been one at a time...or even being one now in a particular situation!
I can never date a married man,I can never owe anyone money,I can never date my colleague in the office,I can never ever marry a girl/guy i meet in the club,I can never cheat on my wife/husband(as if flirting isn't part of cheating)*sighs*

Hmmm...the list is endless*smh**

My point here is..Don't ever be quick to castigate someone's act because you could just act out the same way when faced with a similar or awkward circumstance!

We are sometimes quick to point fingers,apportion blames or even flatter ourselves by claiming to be better,not knowing we are only human and are bound to make mistakes someday...even mistakes we swear we will never make!!* sighs*

Don't let your lips and your actions speak 2different languages!
Don't be a hypocrite!

Till my next post...live,laugh,love and of cos stay blessed!

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

A Model or A Role Model?

While growing up..i knew it was a good thing to have Role models,apart from my parents who did an excellent job in that regard!*smiles*
People I admired...from all walks of life ranging from Professors,Doctors,reputable Businessmen to Celebrities,Artistes,etc.
These are people who you should not only admire their success and aspire to attain yours, but people who have qualities worth emulating!
As years went by,i extended my list of role models,picking them out of their profound knowledge in businesses,their eagerness to help people succeed by being true leaders and not bosses,their way of life or even how they manage life's challenges!
You're probably wondering why this is important..right?
Wellll..i felt this was quite necessary because Role models set goals for you and try to make you as good as they are..or even better!

Now bringing you back to the present..i look up certain people,especially women who i think are worthy of being Role models and slightly immerse myself into their lives,struggles and achievements,particularly actresses,female artistes,etc!
Now don't start thinking i'm some feminist!*smiles*

Could it be the Oscar-winning Actor&Comedian,Late Robbin Williams who committed suicide as a result of severe depression which was one of the symptoms of the disorder,dementia ,that took me by surprise?

Could it be the popular female Nigerian singer who released successful albums,taken on by a popular record label,won quite a number of notable awards,got married about 3years ago,few months after her son's birth,she had marriage issues,seperated from her hubby due to alleged allegations on infidelity,financial recklessness,drug addiction,abuse,etc that got me thinking?

Or could it be the popular Nigerian actress who posted a photo of puppies claiming them as hers..infact gave them names on instagram and eventually took down the post when she got caught??

Or maybe the Nigerian popular actress who got married barely 2years ago,has a son who just clocked a year old and is still on an ongoing battle with her well-known hubby over allegations of infidelity,physical and mental abuse,etc..only to state that all she posted about her picture-perfect marriage were all lies,just to keep up with the societal pressures??

Hmmmm...Well,I am not a saint so the last thing am gonna do is judge anyone!
As long as they learn from their mistakes and do not lead people astray..It's all good!
As long as people learn from their experiences or errors to become better people,It's all good!*sighs*

Anyways,the good thing is..I keep in mind that they are human..just like you and I ,so i don't get sooo disappointed at something they have said or done that my morality or principles don't embrace!

They have insecurities,moments of pain and sorrow when faced with pressures and life's challenges and sometimes don't handle the issues in an exemplary/commendable manner!

How are you to emulate such a model?
How do you upgrade your goals or aspirations from such a model?
How does such insecurity or negativity portrayed by the model, influence your level of thinking or empower you??
Well..like i always say.."We learn everyday!"
So the next time you're thinking of them as some idol,model..or even Role model,please do a rethink!*sighs*
Is he/she suitable to be a model?Yes!
Could he/she be MY Role modelNaaa!*smh*
It's important to realise that noone is as flawless as they portray,no matter the level of success!

Believe in yourself,be who you are!
Embrace what you were born with because you are beautiful&unique!
You were made that way for a reason so learn from their experiences/mistakes and become the best for yourself...Aspire to be a Role model and not just a model!

Till my next post,live,laugh,love..and of cos stay blessed!

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

The Unexpected Helper..!

Most women admire you but would rather keep the compliments to themselves!Infact,some see you as their competition,even when you're not aware!*smiles*
Till this moment,i can't specifically tell you why some of them behave this way but trust me,it's an amusing observation!LOL!
Am guessing some men do this too,albeit for some other reasons..not out of sheer jealousy or insecurity, but for more reasonable reasons!*wink*

Anyways,this reminded me of an experience i had not too long ago with a fellow neighbour.
Apparently she had a car problem on the highway,a few miles from our neighbourhood. I was driving back home and as i passed a parked car,i looked and saw her standing by the car,looking all worried and flushed!
I sensed it was car trouble so i did a reverse and approached her. She recognised me and i sensed her embarassment!Not because her car had a fault but because i drove back to offer her some assistance!
She is someone who sees me almost everyday in the neighbourhood,walks/drives past me every other day,even when i am in front of my house, like i am invisible..not a smile..no hello..nothing and then,today..in her helpless moment..i show up willing to offer assistance! Imagine that!!* sighs*
Hmmm...The Unexpected Helper!

Now this brings me to the point of this post.
I know with the kinda environment we live in,experiences with bad people in the past,etc,..It's not easy to give a warm reception towards meeting people but i have come to realise that you NEVER know how that person could turn out to be useful to you someday..somehow!
Don't look down on everyone who approaches you...or at least sees and greets you warmly!
The mechanic,friend,colleague,family member or spouse you strongly rely on to always be there in your times of need might not be..but this person might show up being your fastest ray of hope to the situation!!
Honestly,it doesn't take anything out of you to respond nicely to neighbours,colleagues,church members,or even people that wrong you and still tender heartfelt apologies to you,admitting their wrongs,seeking your forgiveness!

Let me share a brief encounter from a friend,which served as a harsh reminder for me too!
As she was speeding her way through the road,on her way to a job interview,she takes a sharp turn into the street and out comes this car without a warning of a horn,it slightly crashes into her car!She quickly dashes out of car,screaming down curses on the driver,even before the owner steps out!The owner finally comes out of the car,apologising and pleading for the driver's carelessness!She refuses to listen,insisting he has to pay for the slight damage and carefully dishing some insults about why he should have also looked out for safety to turn,instead of relying on his driver's skills!
Anyways,the guy finally agrees to pay for damages, seeing my friend was in no mood for apologies without compensation!
They finally leave the spot and she heads on quickly to the office for her interview.
As she is kept waiting at the reception,amongst other applicants,this same guy walks in,with the driver holding his briefcase!
He is greeted by the secretary and he walks into an inner office.
She quickly gets up to ask the secretary who he is and the secretary tells her that he is the C.E.O of the firm!!Waaaat!!
Now,let me inform you that this job interview is for an application she made about 3months back,while she has being desperately seeking a job in the last 2years with no success!
She had been soooo hopeful on this one because the company was a very reputable organisation!
At this point,i need not tell you how she felt or what ensued between her and the man at the end of the interview!*smh*
The person you least expect to come to your aid..Hmmm..The Unexpected Helper!

Don't wait till a harsh situation that puts you at the mercy of that person humble you..before you realise that some people APPEAR in your life for a reason!

Be kind..and if that's too hard,at least have some iota of humility in how you treat people or react to situations!
Step with care and great tact..and Remember Life is a great balancing act because it can humble you when you least expect it!
Till my next post, live, laugh, love and of cos..stay blessed!