Walking Away From Office Romance

Workplace or office affairs are very common in every part of the world!
Roughly half of all affairs happen at work...or well..a lot!

Funny enough..most times it actually starts innocently enough..like..
-You and a coworker are working together on a project..
-You and your colleague have a common goal and similar pressures.
-Or better still, you and your colleague have to travel for work and end up having dinner together or working late hours...The two of you have dinner and talk about your work, then the conversation changes and you start to share more personal things, such as your desire for a different job, or your dreams about your future or even about your personal life.
You become aware that your co-worker is really listening to you cos he or she really takes an interest in what you are saying.

At that point,this seems different from your spouse/partner because your partner is always or more often,busy with the children or other schedules. You find yourself noting that your colleague is even attractive and more good looking than before!
Then you and your colleague exchange text messages or chats about work and slowly these chats become clever, funny and slightly flirtatious.

Or it could happen a different way, perhaps one of you touches the other’s shoulder or knee in a playful manner but the touch is like lightning!LOL!
Then..the seed is planted and takes root.  It can take some time to blossom from an emotional affair to a physical affair. Some affairs stay at the emotional level, but the effect on the marriage/relationship most times,is the same!

What many people don't realise is that..Office/Workplace affairs actually forge a strong bond because of common interests, admiration and work stress!
Often people who have affairs at work report that their marriage/relationship is a good one...surprisingly!

The reason office affairs are on the rise is because people put their whole life,time and energy into their careers, especially in a developing economy, many people feel fortunate to have a job!Yep!!
Once they get home to the children, people feel tired and drained!
Infact,the office is more of the solace than the home*sighs*

Another contributing factor to office affairs is that couples need to learn how to be intimate about other things or infact,everything!
For the married couples with children..they need to be more intimate too with everything other than their children. I know we live in a child centered culture and many well meaning people are too focused on their children’s activities and running the busy household rather than sharing emotional intimate conversations with their spouse/partner..but I think the most important relationship in the home is between the couple and not between the parent and the child/children.

Well..I have always being on the side that says.."Don't just identify a problem..proffer a solution if you can!"*smiles*
Sooo..I guess I will drop my 2cents on how to deal with office romance..or infact how to walk away from it!!

1. Establish boundaries around friends of the opposite sex. Don't share things with people that you haven’t shared with your partner. If you are having marital problems don't share it with someone of the opposite sex! (This one comes first because I have noticed it is always reoccurring as the reason why an office romance started in the first place!)
   
   
   
2.  Check yourself by asking, “If my spouse was here, what or how would they feel about me saying this about them?” Another good question to ask is “Does this person know more about my personal thoughts or inner world than my partner?”  If that answer is yes, then my dear... you're on a slippery slope!!
3. Don't put yourself in situations where you could be tempted. Well what that simply means is.. if you're traveling with a colleague, don't go into the hotel room of the colleague of the opposite sex&start asking for a towel/bath robe at 1am and think you'll get only what you asked for!! *covering my face*
4. Don't keep secrets from your husband/wife or partner.  Extramarital affairs are fueled by secrecy! You can actually put out the flames by telling your partner about feeling attracted to another person...and trust me..it works! When you do that,you not only have a clear conscience but for future references about that colleague,you would not feel like hiding anything from your partner..but instead..crack jokes about it!
5. Finally..Above all, make time to talk to your partner, have date nights or times at home which are sacred between you and your partner and you get to talk bout anything or everything,Laugh and cry together if you have to!!

Remember that affairs are about emotional connection.
If you ask me...Affairs are rare when couples are emotionally connected to one another.
Share your intimate thoughts&feelings with partner and be ready to listen..really listen when your spouse wants to share their feelings with you.
Emotional intimacy is about listening and sharing, so always remember it's both ways.

I would love to hear from you if you have any comments cos like i always say...we learn everyday!